Why am I here, what do I think I am doing?

On pivots, instincts, shapeshifting, and misdirections.

I always believed I was blessed with good instincts, was never one to plan too far into the future—the time would come when I’d know what to do.

Foolproof.

So here I am again, trusting that instinct—believing you will find this piece worth the read.

Please let me know?

Remember, my second blog post is the one that historically has been “also probably good,” so let’s get to it!

My instincts. Only in retrospect do I see how much they’ve served me over time, and how uncomfortable it was to learn to listen to them without fear—especially when I was starting out.

I wouldn’t trade my early career days for anything, especially my time in New York.

In business, I advise people to do the heavy lifting upfront: be completely thorough about your setup and your metrics, build it to be solid, put in the work. Then you automate and optimize and eventually, you coast and move on to the next fire drill.

That’s how you scale, piece by piece.

The key, what most people miss, is the critical need to identify the pivot, where you benefit from being flexible to the whim of unintended consequences.

You have to learn to identify the crucial misdirections and use them to your advantage.

I like to think I designed my career the same way—those grueling early years made everything else seem, by comparison, easy. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I’ve been identifying and leaning into misdirections all along.

In 2013, I was 30 years old. I had moved to NYC five years earlier on a whim (more on that another time), and had been at Publicis the whole time working on Procter & Gamble—literally my dorky college-girl dream company—as an Account Supervisor. These years were a blur, and I often worked 60-80 hours each week (never again).

I considered leaving, going to a different agency. It would have been easy, but my instincts said it wasn’t time.

I figured that at another agency, I’d have the same job, but the people would be a wild card.

I loved my Publicis peeps (still do!). So I stayed.

Until my friend and former boss, Liz Taylor, reached out to me about the digital ad tech startup her friend, Cary Lawrence had co-founded.

SocialCode.

I specifically remember she said it was “growing like gangbusters” and that I should check them out.

Finally, it was time.

I stayed at SocialCode for eight years, and that company changed my life in the most amazing ways.

Of course there’s the people. It’s always the people!

At SocialCode, it was the sharpest, most hardworking and fun loving group of kind, competitive, driven souls. And also, a lot of Bud Light.

But there’s so much more.

Not even two years after I started working at SocialCode, my husband and I decided to move to Phoenix to raise our future kids near my parents.

I’d be remiss not to say: if you knew my parents, you’d understand.

It was late 2014, and there weren’t a lot of companies outside the coasts doing work at SocialCode’s scale and impact—we were one of the earliest strategic partners to emerging social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

If you want something, ask for it.

Respectfully and thoughtfully—and having done my upfront work to prepare—I asked if they would consider letting me work remotely. Karma was my boyfriend, because it turned out we were opening a new office in Chicago, and they didn’t have any managers yet.

Someone would have to grow and lead the team remotely from NYC.

Or from Phoenix.

I had the privilege of helping grow that team in Chicago from 2-12 employees during the first year I worked remotely—five years before the pandemic.

After that year, we agreed they needed a manager who was regularly in-office with them, but I loved the work I was doing, and the team I led was kicking some serious ass.

I was also pregnant with my first child.

Sarah Snyder and John Terrana, who ran the client services team at SocialCode, assured me that I would have a job when I returned from maternity leave. They just weren’t sure what it would be.

As I’ve said before—I’ve always had an appreciation for adventure.

When I came back after a generous leave, Sarah handed me a list of problems and said she wanted me to develop and implement system-wide solutions. Essentially, the team at large had the opportunity to level up in terms of managing and maintaining strong client relationships. She asked me to make up a job title and write up a job description, and we’d align on the scope.

And hence, my time as SocialCode’s one and only Director of Client Excellence began.

And it was the best job I’d ever had.

My focus became scaling my own methods of cultivating meaningful relationships with clients. Not only did filling this gap represent a measurable opportunity to make an impact on business outcomes, but it was also an area where I shined.

So yeah, I guess I really like people.

There are so many ways to drive impact when it comes to designing programs that develop the people whose performance directly influences business results. For example, my amazing friend and colleague, Emily Ellis, was the Director of Business Ops at SocialCode, and she played a major role in this as well, developing a full end-to-end process to help support and guide the team in making smart decisions and working efficiently.

She is now a Chief People Officer.

I found myself making similar contributions—re-scoping and re-launching roles and responsibilities (affectionately called The Role-out), structuring systems for performance reviews and calibrations, individual and team coaching, overseeing Learning & Development, creating competencies and career pathing. And more!

I loved my job so much; I remember telling Emily that I’d never been so happy or fulfilled in a role.

At the same time, it was terrifying.

I was working remotely in a fake job I made up.

Who would ever hire me after this?

But I knew it wasn’t time. The work was stimulating. The people had become family. This was prior to 2020, when work was still allowed to feel like family.

So I stayed.

And for three years, I did this made-up, fulfilling, impactful job.

And then I met Molly Graham and she changed my life.

(Molly, hi! Nothing would thrill me more than you seeing this, so I’m manifesting!)

Sister to Laura O’Shaughnessy—SocialCode’s CEO—Molly joined short term to consult with the People team. Together with Tracey Baumwell, Head of People, Molly dug into how the company had evolved in order to help us grow and mature gracefully.

Now there’s a metaphor.

This is where, ten years into my career, I finally learned the concept of managing people to the business. This is crucial to success.

But more on that another time—likely for my paid subscribers 😜.

Molly set up time with me, and told me very plainly that she had advised the company to hire an HR Business Partner for the client services team, but she now realized I was already doing that job.

I had never heard of an HR Business Partner.

Did I want that job?

I did! I really did!

Finally, I had a real job! And maybe a future beyond this company that had already done so much for me.

And I loved being an HR Business Partner, for almost a decade.

As I’ve gotten deeper into the corporate HR world, the parts of it that aren’t for me are starting to scream a little too loud. And what a blessing!

Come back another time for those musings, I’ll let you know when they are ready.

So now, it is that time again.

Time to follow the coil in my gut.

Time to shape-shift.

The ouroboros embodies nonlinear transformation—looping, folding, and feeding itself—following instinct, embracing misdirection, and coiling back with renewed growth and clarity.

I think about this in relation to my sweet baby Substack. My pure, untarnished, tender professional adventure.

I have no clue where this is going, and right now—it feels, well, cringe. I’m screaming into the canyon and I mostly hear the tiny echoing voices of my closest friends and family. Who I love and adore—but I can do more, I am ready for more.

This space is my catalyst, a reflection of sound pinging across cracked earth. I am starting to hear the echoes of other tiny voices, coming together to build a community.

I want to hear yours.

So why am I here again? What am I doing?

I am exploring my experiences to find meaning, and I am searching for others who want to journey with me. And I’m trying to learn.

What is the lesson?

Opportunities will not find you, and nobody owes you anything.

So listen. Really listen. You know the answer.

My beautiful friend and colleague (you know who you are) has been debating whether to start her own business or get a senior level job while she builds her business on the side.

My advice to her?

Your flowers will grow where you water them—and she has some of the brightest, most vibrant flowers I’ve ever seen.

Let’s reap what we sow, together.

Want to talk? Set up a free one hour consultation–or just a free one hour gab-fest.